Logbook

Hello All,
I opened the logbook back up on Mother's Day, emailed David and Charlie, and waited. The posts came in, but they were all commerical messages, people trying to get their name and message seen anywhere. This technology is finished, replaced by Blogger and blogging and a grown up, robust solution.
So this is the end. My love and thanks to all those who were a part of this effort.
-lw

Mother's day 2003, we're back.

As promised, we have closed the logbook as of now. Remember we are printing the contents and will have the book available at the service. We can also mail copies to those of you who can't make it, just drop a note to info@b-mom.com.

Thanks.
-lw

Fifteen below zero this morning, clear, wind North at 10. Cold. Bootes, the cat is complaining. There's currently a conflict between the laptop computer and the laptop cat, and the cat is losing. But he'll get his time when I'm done.

There is some unfinished business. For while I've been sharing the day to day of this extraordinary three months on these pages, I have not reminisced myself.

It is difficult to separate B-Mom from our family, to say what was B-Mom, what was POW, what was David and Charlie. That is gift one, for she brought us together through her hard work to the point where we were a team and could rely on each other. Betty the watch officer.

When I said I was disconnecting the speedometer on a rental car to save mileage, Mom's sharp reprimand stopped me in my tracks, and taught me a lesson. The extraordinary part was she did it in such a way as to make the lesson one of being honest, rather than one of not telling your mother what you're doing. That is gift two: Betty the strong person, calling a spade a spade.

Gift three is harder to see. Mom set us free. She didn't tell us what to do, she simply loved us and supported us in whatever we chose. She did her work early, making sure we had the skills and compassion onboard, then let go. I'll face that process one day with my daughter Nora, and I'm glad to have an example to follow.

The gift of B-Mom.Com for me was learning to know my mother. I knew Mom wove her holistic health practices into her nursing career, but to hear the details from her nursing friends on these pages brought her to life for me. And I knew she inspired a lot of people at Outward Bound, but again, the stories brought her to life. That she has been brought to life to stay on these pages is a gift we gave her, but also have given each other, and for that I am grateful.

Finally, B-Mom.Com was part of the support network. Mom felt it, and we felt it. In a letter she wrote on her birthday, it's clear that she was making the most of her time:

Physically, I'm not doing so hot, but mentally I feel more alive than I ever have. I feel like an 8 year old …no past, no future, no worries, and it is marvelously uplifting. I feel almost guilty that I'm enjoying this part of my life!

Mom wanted to die at home, peacefully. During the difficult last days, when POW was barely hanging on through the 24-hour care, the strength we felt from those on B-Mom.com helped.

Bootes the cat returned, and this time he won. I'm hunched over to the side, with a cat in my lap, and the typing is getting awkward.

Once again, thank you all for making these pages sacred.

I have lots of memories of Betty at Hurricane Island.
But the one that came to my mine first was how she took the
time to show this new climber to the scene how he could
improve his technique by yoga. Only, I think she told me it was
stretching. She showed me a few basic positions and some
stretches that would get me going. I still do them, almost
every day. But now I will do them not just for my body, but to
think of Betty and all of the gifts she has given.

Love from us.

Tony, Norvelene, Christos, Jonas

When I see Betty it is with her knitting. She is then surrounded by the rasberries, granite, pine trees and juniper, raw wood of a Hurricane Island cabin and the smell of the Atlantic ocean. My memories of Betty are some of my earliest ones that I treasure. Some of my first babysitters were her sons Langley, David and Charlie. I can remember running around the island with Rex and Langley scoping out perfect trees for treehouses and making the necessary pitstop at the cabin for a resuply of some-sort, and "Mrs. Willaur" sitting in the corner with her knitting. I never really knew Betty beyond my childhood so she will always remain a bit of a mystical icon for me "The Queen Mother of My Childhood Summer Playground." I have often said to people that I had one of the best childhood environments to grow up in. While others had a jungle-gym I had all of Hurricane Isle with all of its instructors looking for a diversion, the older children of instructors as guides to a massive romper-room kingdom, and as far as I was concerned, it was Betty and Peter's gift to the world. I am sad to know that I will never have said this directly to Betty and let her know all of the joy that I have vicariously received by her presence in this wonderful world but I am honored and happy that I have a Queen Mother of My Summer Playground stacked into my major arcana. Thankyou.
Much love and grace,
Julian

Dearest Willauer's -

(I got cut off in the middle of submitting the first time, so this is the second attempt. Sorry for the overlap!)

I found out about this site from Lewis Glen and got a recent update from Derek Pritchard. Thank god the world is as small as it is.

What can I say? My mom died on February 14, 1998 from pancreatic cancer, on top of the Alzheimer's she had had already for several years. As she was no longer able to live at home because of her Alzheimer's, we spent our last 2 weeks together with her in a wonderful hospice in Denver. It was a miraculous time. As I read through the entries in this logbook, it sounds like you have also had such a time together. I half laughed, half cried when I read that Betty had asked for some funny video's. With my mom we watched My Fairlady and the winter Olympics. And sang. And looked at photo albums. And visited with old friends. And and and...

In September we came together with the family and scattered mom's ashes at Schodic Point. She'd gone there as a child, we'd gone there as a family when I was growing up, and I'd sailed by there many times as an adult on a pulling boat. And so the circle goes around again.

For me it's been a year of intensely missing my mom - sometimes it's still inconceivable for me that I can't just pick up the phone and give her a call - and bumping into reminders at all sorts of unexpected moments of how she's still living on in *my* life, simply in the way I lead 'my' own life. Sometimes I find the line between what she liked and what I like, or how she would have responded to something and how I respond very blurry. Standing on Schodic Point in September in the fog, with the breakers crashing on the shore I thought, 'She would have loved it'. And at the same time thought how much I loved it. A love which I originally learned from her. So there I was on the point, loving it too. What a gift.

I don't really have any wise words. All I can say is that my heart is very much with all of you right now.

Thanks for making it possible to connect.

Jen Nold

Dearest Willauer's -

I found out about this site from Lewis Glen and got a recent update from Derek Pritchard. Thank god the world is as small as it is.

What can I say? My mom died on February 14, 1998 from pancreatic cancer, on top of the Alzheimer's she had had already for several years. As she was no longer able to live at home because of her Alzheimer's, we spent our last 2 weeks together with her in a wonderful hospice in Denver. It was a miraculous time. As I read through the entries in this logbook, it sounds like you have also had such a time together. I half laughed, half cried when I read that Betty had asked for some funny video's. With my mom we watched My Fairlady and the winter Olympics. And sang. And looked at photo albums. And visited with old friends. And and and...

In September we came together with the family and scattered mom's ashes at Schodic Point. She'd gone there as a child, we'd gone there as a family when I was growing up, and I'd sailed by there many times as an adult on a pulling boat. And so the circle goes around again.

For me it's been a year of intensely missing my mom - sometimes it's still inconceivable for me that I can't just pick up the phone and give her a call - and bumping into reminders at all sorts of unexpected moments of how she's still living on in *my* life, simply in the way I lead 'my' own life. Sometimes I find the line between what she liked and what I like, or how she would have responded to something and how I respond very blurry. Standing on Schodic Point in September in the fog, with the breakers crashing on the shore I thought, 'She would have loved it'. And at the same time thought how much I loved it. A love which I originally learned from her. So there I was on the point, loving it too. What a gift.

I don't really have any wise words. All I can say is that my heart is very much with all of you right now.

Thanks for making it possible to connect.

Jen Nold

Dear Family and Friends of Betty,
I attended a meeting tonight of a reading group that Betty and I were both members of and was told of Betty's passing and of this site. Reading through all the letters-the tributes- to Betty and her family has been a tearful but incredible experience. I knew Betty briefly and met her at the end of her recuperation from the accident in Belmont. While I don't know of the actual experiences that are related in the letters here, I do know of Betty's warmth, her humor, her insight and caring, her courage. I look up to Betty as a woman I want to grow to be like. She will always stay with me in this way and I am proud to have met and come to know her. Peace be with you all,
Kim Siebert

Dearest Willauers,
I have thought a tremendous amount about all of you over the past several months, particularly this week. Marilyn was scheduled to come to Boston for a medical appointment on Monday, and decided not to due to the weather. I received a call from her on Sunday telling me of Betty's death. Mom and I both talked about how everything happens for a reason...Mom told me a touching story of going for a long walk on the point, and how a small warbler approaced her coming nearer and nearer. Marilyn looked the bird up in her bird book when she returned home and read how warbler's like to sing a lot. Marilyn told me she thought about Betty and how much she liked to sing. Mom was very grateful that she had the opportunity to visit Betty and all of you shortly before she passed away. I know from everything Marilyn has said to me, that Betty was an important and special friend to her. My mom will miss her greatly...
As for me, Betty's death is a reminder of how precious life is, and the need to appreciate each day to the fullest. I have been working on obtaining my master's degree in social work at Boston University. This is my last year, and I am soon to be finishing a year long internship at Dana Farber Cancer Institute. After Christmas break, I was finding it difficult to get back in the groove and return to Dana Farber. Betty and all of you remind me of the importance of my work. I thought a lot about Betty on Tuesday as I was given newly diagnosed patients and family members to see. I felt her presence with me, and her strong voice in my head saying, anything is possible if you believe, and go for it. Don't, don't, ever give up! I believe that Betty was a very special person in her ability to utilize everything around her to fight her illness, and maintain as much quality of life as possible. My hat goes off to her!
Live with intention.
walk to the edge.
practice wellness.
continue to learn
play with abandon.
live with no regret.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.
-Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey

God speed dear Betty. You have been a sister-in-law and a sister to me over the years. We have had many tender and hysterically funny moments together, most of which we have shared again over the last 12 months. How many of you remember her "stretch and sew" days..the old VW bus..our wonderful mother-in-law..our favorite rafting spots and planning wonderul dinners..sharing the great books we were reading..what it was like to bring up daughters..women's issues...on and on. She influenced my Julia Child addiction by introducing me to Rick Perry. She said it was okay to get involved with HIOBS! She was the trained nurse, but I was thrown into the job as a neophyte in Belmont after her awful accident..on the job training and I knew how to clean pools! She has taught me so much, the least of which was her uncanny example of how to die gracefuly and give alot of love and spirit to so many people, especially her family. She has also introduced me to two new and wonderful friends that will be an extension of her life with me. Thank you. We have been graced to be a part of her life and will carry on her spirit and joie de vivre forever. I'm going to miss our fantail talks on the boat......

Dear Willauers' I am sad to hear of Betty's passing. She was the strongest woman I have ever known. Her smile and hearty laugh could fill a room with warmth and kindness in a second. Her kind words and gentle style of listening would soften the hardest blow. Her words of encouragement and faith could harden the weakest soul. I feel fortunate to have known her. I will miss her very much. Thank you for letting me join everyone in expressing my feelings here together. I will join you all on Saturday to celebrate the life of B-Mom. Always, Andy Zuber

When I come to a sacred place, even one as nebulous as this
in location, I like to offer a prayer and place a rock to mark the site
outwardly just as I have been marked inwardly.
So, thank you God for these people who have made me see and
touch life more deeply. Give us the strength to not only be touched
by this experience, but to learn and use what we have found. And
thank you God for showing me, through Betty and the Willauer family,
that even when faced with a situation which is beyond our control
there is still hope, there is still more to learn and that it will be all right.
Betty's healing is complete and this experience is passing. I now
put by my computer the shell that has been in my prayer garden for
Betty throughout this last year. It will remind me to reflect on what has
been and to be bold in facing the life which lies ahead.
Amen, Betty.

- Peter

Dear Friends,
I last saw Betty the Monday (Jan. 4) before she died. Her spirit was beautiful as always. She asked me for some names of funny videos. I gave her "Liar Liar" and "Austin Powers" and she told Peter excitedly about them when he came in from grocery shopping. We had had our tears at least 6 weeks previously when she knew she'd exhausted all avenues. While I was there on the 4th she showed me how Peter had fixed the den for her. Her hospital bed was beside the fireplace with a fire blazing. From where she lay she could see views of the fields, neighbors in the distance and old apple trees. There were flowers, paintings of ships and a comfortable chair. She said more than once, "Isn't this a beautiful room? I love it here." I left some fresh pineapple that Ken had cut up for her and a letter recalling the gifts she had given me through the years. I forgot to thank her for scolding me for washing my hair in a pond we slept beside while on a bike trip together long ago. And that I will miss eating seaweed quiche with her. Good-bye my dear, dear friend. Love, Susan

January 13

Dear Pow, Charlie, David, Langley, Gail, Cathy, Holly and all the little ones,

As tough as it is to imagine life without Betty in it, the send off you gave her was the best it could possibly be. One day long ago, she and I remarked at how the journey she was on felt somewhat like the birthing process: being attentive to life and knowing something big was ahead but not quite knowing what was coming. The house was filled with a quiet peacefulness and reverance for life- for her life. And all the while, POW kept track of her meds, coordinated the schedule with Carol and everyone else who appeared at the door, welcomed and included the visitors,ducked out to the store to fill strange food requests, kept the house going ( woodbox, fires, birdfeeders, Christmas, meals) the effort moved along quite seamlessly.

As I look back over the 25+ years of our friendship, I realize Betty represented for me a bridge between generations- mine and my parents. She was 11 years older and therefore much more experienced in everything. She lived her life with a nod backward to an earlier time and I liked that. In a lot of ways she reminded me of my mother- optimistic, energetic, enthusiastic and able to really listen to what was important to me. She always had a kind word or suggestion for ways to approach a problem. At the same time she was always looking ahead and learning about the lastest-- one of her favorite words--in so many areas: gardening, cooking, sewing, yoga ( she put me on to Ruth Bender- remember us going on yoga retreats?). I could never keep up. And, as we know, she wasn't shy about letting you know what she knew-- no matter what the topic! In fact, I think one of the reasons we got on so well was due to both of us being blessed ( ?) with a certain bluntness of manner!

When life got tough for both of us, we shared that. When things looked up,we shared those times too. We were cheerleaders for each other.

Some of my favorite memories of Betty include: learning how to make yogurt by wrapping the culture in a down sleeping bag overnight, her making my wedding dress, her introducing me to the "haute couture" that could be found, if you looked at "Jacques Penne'", being her yoga student, her introducing the phrase "fatty rubbish" to the family vocabulary, her attempts to teach me how to sew ( I was a terrible but intermittently very interested student), sitting in the kitchen drinking tea.

I will miss my friend dreadfully. I will miss all that she had to teach me. But the BIG lesson she did teach us all before she died: how to leave this life with grace, courage a sense of completeness and acceptance of whatever lay ahead.

What a gift you have given all of us in creating this site. Thank you so much!
Betty was a woman of grace, a woman I wanted to grow up like, when I knew her in my late twenties. This log will give me a way to learn more from her even now.
She was one of those "old souls", I think, in the way so many of us felt so close to her- so quickly at first, and then still so close with so much time and distance between us.
I miss her now, but somehow I feel that she's with me more than ever.
Thanks again, Willauers, for sharing her so generously with all of us.

Dear Peter and Family:
You have all been close in my thoughts, full of warmth and gratitude. Your card to me was a sharp reminder that, although I had often thought of you and Betty in the interim, I had not had contact for many months. Betty must have discovered the cancer shortly after I last saw you. I am grateful to be included in the family of friends who were invited to share thoughts. I have read them all. Thank you, Langley, and all of you for your sharing. My gratitude to both of you goes way back when each of you gave me what I needed most deeply at the time of the gift. I shall never forget a few hours in Betty's sailboat. Just me and her. She, with humor and kindness, gave me such a boost in confidence and heart that I can feel the energy and warmth then generated as if it were a few months ago, not 25 years ago. I have blessed her for those hours countless times. Betty was one of my very important models. She looms large and generous and special in my life, as do you, despite the limited hours we have been together- a real lesson in the power and preciousness of even a few moments of quality time. I'd
like to share my favorite prayer and hope the beauty of it may contribute a little to you. It is from A New Zealand Prayer Book - the Lord's Prayer, translated from Greek to Maori and then into English.

Eternal Spirit,
Earth-maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver,
Source of all that is and that shall be,
Father and Mother of us all,
Loving God, in whom there is heaven:

The hallowing of your name echo through the universe!
The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the world!
Your heavenly will be done by all created beings!
Your commonwealth of peace and freedom sustain our hope and come on earth.

With the bread we need for today, feed us.
In the hurts we absorb from one another, forgive us.
In times of temptation and test, strengthen us.
From trials too great to endure, spare us.
From the grip of all that is evil, free us.

For you reign in the glory of the power that is love, now and forever, Amen.

You shall be in my thoughts for these months to come. I shall hope for some peace and comfort and joy to accompany the great sorrow of loss.
I shall see you on Saturday. Much love. Sharon McHold

Dearest POW and all of your wonderful family,
Thank you for the blessed opportunity you provided Bill and me to stand a watch last Sunday morning. We approached with trepidation; for me, especially, as I have not had to deal the the finality of death in my immediate family. Entering the familiar, warm kitchen, filled with your family, we were gently guided, with loving hugs and tears, to the den. Carol Rohl's harp stood quietly in the corner; the fire glowed brightly in the fireplace; and Betty's favorite music was playing softly. Pictures of family, friends, letters, cards, flowers, birds flocking in the snowy cold to the feeder outside the window all provided impressions. The overwhelming feeling in this room was love. Bill and I were sustained in those final hours with memories of other, happier times we have shared in the 26 years of our friendship. We hope that our presence allowed you the brief respite you needed from your long vigil. We were honored and humbled to be asked to serve. A great sense of peace has replaced my fears. Betty was ready to cast off on her final voyage from this sphere of our reality. She has soared high from us, buoyed on the wings of your immense love - so obvious to all. My tears are now of joy in her release. Thank you.

Although I didn't know B-Mom, I was alerted to this web-site by Peter-Edwards Jenks. I am moved to know her through the eyes of all who have left their thoughts here, and give thanks that, in the wonder of eternity, we are all one. The Rt. Rev. Chilton Knudsen, Bishop of Maine

Peter and family,

I am sorry to hear of Betty's passing. I am glad to have been one of the lucky ones to have known her. I am going to miss her.

So sorry to read of Betty,s passing ,Forever she will live in our hearts. Peter I will write soon.

Dear Willauers,

I just returned from a week away and turned on the computer to find the sad news of Betty's passing. What a wonderful person she was. And what a great half of one of the dynamic duos of all time. My thoughts are with you, Peter, as you go on without Betty.

I first heard the piece that Peter Ralston shared in this space when it was read at my father's funeral in 1983. I can't read it or hear it without crying but I love it and have shared it with others several times. I am sure Betty is adding her special spark on the other side of the water.

Thanks again to Lang et al for setting up this amazing space. It has served Betty and the Willauers well. But it has also brought together a worldwide virtual community, helping us all with our grief as it shared Betty's lessons about dying gracefully.

We'll be there Saturday.

Tom and Peggy Gilbert

Dear Willauer Family:

It was a gracious end to a wonderful life. I will be there to celebrate that life on Saturday.

Woody

Dear Willauers and all who contributed to B-Mom:
What can I say? There has been so many beautiful sentiments expreesed on the site in the last few weeks that I feel very inarticulate. Betty has gone but she will always be with us as is everyone else who leaves us. My parents (Dan) left us, one at 90 and the other at 103, but they stand by me and my children every day. And as a firm believer in reincarnation I know that Betty will be back again. Some days back Petty made the comment that the Outward Bound people were an 'amazing community'. Betty and POW were the people who dreamed up this community in the first place, gave birth to it and nurtured it to what it became. I must agree with POW in that it is the most amazing group I have ever experienced. I first read of OB in the Reader's Digest in 1964 and thought it would be a great experience working with it. But I thought that I was too old to keep up.(I was forty at the time). Well low and behold eleven years later I was on Hurricane Island and spent three years there, met and married Ruthie Butler. My most enduring memory of Betty was when we moved back to Maine from California in 1984. We were visiting in Cushing and our kids (Anastasia was just past her third birthday and Camden Liam was 16 months old) were trying to disassemble the Willauer's house. As good parents trying to impress others we were running around 'No, no!' and 'stop' until Betty, with her infectious smile to us to leave them alone. "They're just being kids," she said.
Well, Betty is off on another voyage and this one is all good, no storms, no rough weather. As the Navy says "fair winds and follwing seas.' You will always be in our hearts, Betty.
Thanks, Lang, for setting up this web page, it has brought a lot of Hurricane Islanders back together and I'm sure Betty would approve of that.
All our love to POW, Charlie, David, Langley and all the other Willauers.
Ruthie, Dan, Anastasia, Camden Liam and Chet Harper

It has been an extraordinary week! I have had the great good fortune to be at the house in Cushing as this remarkable family gathered, with one goal in mind- to make Betty's last days and transition a time of joy, love and comfort. Each and every relative and one particular dear friend contributed to a seamless whole. Every detail was carefully tended to. This selfless effort was such that nature and circumstance joined, several times, creating spiritually and emotionally Grace-filled events. Her room was a Holy Place. The good thoughts and powerful energy from the contributors to this page hovered in every corner. Betty's passing could not have been more peaceful or comfortable, had she orchestrated it herself.... and, maybe she did! Kirsty. Kno-wal-in Hospice Volunteeer.

Dear All,
The support, compassion, and understanding that you have given Mum and our whole family has been extraordinary. Through your letters and e-mails you have provided an incredible dose of joy, of self worth, and confidence for Mum and for all of us faced with losing Betty. During the final days of her life she was surrounded by family, peacefully resting in the den where many of you have sat before. On the last dawn watch, I sat with her in the early morning light; the fire burning steadily, her breathing getting more labored. As the January light began to filter into that cozy room, Carol began to play her harp. Mum responded in a subtle way, soothed by the gentle music. It was a moment that I will never forget.

This has been an incredible journey. Many of you have said that Mum has taught us so much about dying; that couldn't be more true. You have continually reminded us of Mum's character, her incredible ability to focus on what was important to her at the moment. Her spirit. Her love for others. Thanks Mum and thank you all for your what you have given back over the past several months

Dear Willauers,

I read the news of Betty's passing with tears in my eyes and great sadness for our loss, even though I believe that her time is her time and her death a blessing and relief for her. I offer a prayer that was some comfort to me in a hard time.

But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God
And there no torment shall touch them.
In the sight of the unwise they seemed to die
And their departure is taken for misery
And their going from us to be utter destruction,
But they are in peace.

I will be there with you on Saturday. God bless you.

Peter

Dear All..What an amazing gift you have shared with so many of us. What a brave, wonderful, proud, loving way to recount and share your voyage....this voyage for all of us. You have so very deeply touched so many hearts....and the beauty of it all is knowing that an immense love was and is returned. Ever thanks and love.

Some time back I shared (in these pages) the following piece. I love it, I think it's very beautiful and I want to share it again now. It's the powerful image which I will carry of Betty sailing off on her next expedition. I love you all and will see you on Saturday. Peace. Peter

"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the
morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just whe re
the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says: "There she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she
was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to
her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my
side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other
voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying."
Henry Van Dyke....

Thinking about you all as the day begins this morning - thank you for being there.

Dear Peter,
I'll be there on Saturday, and if I can help with transportation from the Portland area, or from the Portland airport, I hope to be of service in this or any other way that I might be helpful.

Love,

Toby

Dear Willaurs, May the strength and peace of a thousand islands engulf you. May the love of all those who have graced these pages warm you, and may the God who watches over your beloved wife and mother bless you, now and forever. You are always in our hearts. With much Love, Ken

First, thank you all for the honor of your entries in this now sacred space. This page was just what mum needed; she needed to know what people remembered, and how her life touched others. She got a lot more than she expected!

Second, after a family meeting, we have decided to bring closure to this site this week. We will be printing the logbook, and distributing copies to everyone at the service on Saturday. The logbook portion of B-Mom.com will close Thursday at noon. We'll leave the opening page, and our various email addresses so you can communicate with the family privately.

The temperature is down to 12 degrees. The house is quieting down as the various members of the various generations retire. This time together for us is healing.

Well, Betty's off on another voyage and we will miss her. But somehow I think she'll not be far away; from our thoughts, from our recollections, from our cockpits and galleys. Betty is gone but not far away. Love to you all and fair winds to Betty. Pam, Denis and Tavis

Dear Peter, Langley, David and Charlie,
So many wonderful things have already been said to you all. I ditto them all. I am grateful that the journey is over for your beloved wife and mother, though I know the sadness is profound for each and everyone of you. My heart goes out to you at this time. It is truly difficult to lose a loved one. Thank you for being so open and allowing us all to share in our own ways. I am sorry I will not be able to be there on Saturday with Mom and Ann. I will be there in spirit. Love Caroline

Love

Dear Peter and family and all old pals from the board,
What a gift it was to sit next to Betty for hours on my first exec invitational. Wow! I thought. They sure don't make 'em like this in the corporate offices in NY. The more we talked, the more enchanted I became. All I wanted to do was never go back and instead, spend days talking with Betty. As good a book title as any.
Betty Willauer, now there was an "authentic woman." Real...straight-forward...insightful...ego-less...wise...and always with a ready laugh. If the ivitational had ended with me just having the opportunity to talk to and listen to Betty, it would have been a transformational experience. Thank goodness they sent me back to New York so I wouldn't have to live in a tent and thank goodness, I came to experience Betty again and again...if truth be told, and Betty would insist, much of the joy of the annual meeting was seeing and being with Betty. I will try to be more like Betty as a tribute to her passing. My love to you, Peter and hugs to your grandchildren who can't grow older with her.
Ginny Corsi

I wish to profoundly thank you for what you have done in this celebration of Betty's last days amongst us. I with countless others have spent enriching time with you and eachother during the last month. We are all humbled by your struggle and instructed by your shareing. I feel so very privileged to be a small part of this community.

I cannot physically be there Saturday and know that I will miss a remarkable gathering. I will be with you in spirit and will hope that our "Betty Community" will continue to share and inspire. And POW, all I can say is "well done" and "thanks" for being who you are - and God Bless.

With love and best wishes to the Willauers, Ralph.

Dear Peter and family and all old pals from the board,
What a gift it was to sit next to Betty for hours on my first exec invitational. Wow! I thought. They sure don't make 'em like this in the corporate offices in NY. The more we talked, the more enchanted I became. All I wanted to do was never go back and instead, spend days talking with Betty. As good a book title as any.
Betty Willauer, now there was an "authentic woman." Real...straight-forward...insightful...ego-less...wise...and always with a ready laugh. If the ivitational had ended with me just having the opportunity to talk to and listen to Betty, it would have been a transformational experience. Thank goodness they sent me back to New York so I wouldn't have to live in a tent and thank goodness, I came to experience Betty again and again...if truth be told, and Betty would insist, much of the joy of the annual meeting was seeing and being with Betty. I will try to be more like Betty as a tribute to her passing. My love to you, Peter and hugs to your grandchildren who can't grow older with her.
Ginny Corsi

To all the Willauers,
I have just heard of Betty's passing, and spent the last hour or so on the site here. It has all been said so beautifully - I had my strength and spirit to you now.

I knew Betty by association really. We have met on several occasions, and I just imagine myself to be one of thouseands who passed into and at times through the community that met her the same way. And i imagine I was met with the same welcoming smile, accepted and expected really, as so many before and since. I regard her as the hearth from which such strong light and warmth sprung, which nourished a family and an entire community. As fleeting as we know such light can be, there was a steady hand on the tiller for many years.

To the family - I am so impressed and moved by this web-site. The efforts and contributions say so much for your desire to have us join this final expedition. You have again provided the opportunity so many of us long for - to be a member of a specialcommunity.

Peace and strength to you all
Michael

Standing in Betty's kitchen with the laptop that has been our connection over these last few days. I went home last night and realized it had only been 72 hours from the time I arrived late Thursday night when Betty was sick for the last time, to last night when the funeral home came for her body. With a days separation, I can reflect a little on yesterday. Mum died surrounded by all of us standing around her bed. And in a moment of grace, the minister, Peter Edwards-Jenks and his wife Laura (also a minister and close friend of Betty's) had arrived 15 minutes earlier. So they were there too. She went out in style.

Everyone is still here. Brad and Ann's kids Peggy and Tory, Ann, Chip, all the Dowzers (5), Gale with two of hers, and Holly, Nora and me during the day. POW's holding up well, but the transition is hard. We busy planning for Saturday, taking walks, singing, and being together. Thank you for all the kind words, it means a lot. -lw

Langley, David, Charlie & Peter..thanks for the wonderful obit on Betty. That's an inspiration unto itself. Thanks again for your labors and your love. Mary

I have opened this site twice today and closed it quietly. We will be at a loss without the connections it has created around such a powerful experience; but I do believe we are all enriched by it as well. Thank you to all the Willauers and extended family for sharing such a personal time. I am honored and grateful to have been offered the opportunity to partake. The Heavenly G will shine brightly again tonight as we continue another cycle of life.

You are all in my thoughts, and if I can do anything from Boston to assist these next days or in six months, please do not hesitate to reach out.

With my love and admiration,

Liz Kay

Peter, Charlie, David and Langley- Oh boy...this news sure hit me like a ton of bricks. In particular because I had the luck, and the honor, to be in Islesford when Peter and Betty swung through on their August cruise this summer. It was serendipity that we were in Maine at the end of August with my whole family: Shelley and the two boys, Hunter (3) and Ford(9 months).

The trip brought an incredible flood of memories because I could see the boys enjoying for the first time the wonder I had experienced as a little boy in the Maine waters and woods. Remember the book, McCloskey's "Time of Wonder"?? Crawling around the deck, riding tricycles like madmen around the corners, jumping around rocks, rowing around the docks, or simply wandering through the woods pretending dinosaurs were peeking around the next corner.

What really hit home was seeing both Betty and Peter....it only made me sadder recollecting the wonderful times we all had as kids monkeying around on Hurricane Island. It was truly one of the more memorable experiences I had growing up as a child. Jumping into the quarry, freezing our tails off in the morning swim, and simply messing about the "jungle gym" we came to know as Hurricane Island...what more could any kid ask for? Perhaps a Mom to take care of us when we invariably got in trouble!

Well, guys, in many respects it is very sad I missed you all this summer. I had a wonderful time catching up with "God Mother Betty" whom I always cherished as a warm-hearted, loving, beautiful, and spirited person. I will miss her but her spirit lives on in all of us and I can only hope and imagine that she is smiling down on all of us as we think of her. 8-)

Love to you all and a big warm hug from all of us,

Stu, Shelley, Hunter, Ford, Winston (our fuzzy Corgi), Max (the crazy cat) and Flip (our bug-eyed fish).

Dear Willauers, I'm sending love and all the good energy I possibly can. Thank you so so SO much for this remarkable circle around B-Mom; the experience of being PART of the loving is something I will treasure all my life. After reading your so loving obituary, I'm wishing more and more that we hadn't lost touch after Beaver: what a dynamite woman!!

I will be there in spirit on the 16th, and I send love to you all, to US all, including Betty.

love always,

Helena

Dear Beloved & Wonderful Willauers
For the last week I've been full of thoughts and yet words couldn't describe our feelings which swelled in crescendo with each of these last B-mom pages. We could sense the movement of Betty's spirit to a new place--not lost to us really still a momentous moving on - an awesome tho heavy feeling in our hearts - touched with the triumph that was hers in the end and so yours too.

Thank you all for sharing allwith us and thanks to all who wrote in their stories feelings songs and poems for the rest of us to read too--a beautiful gift.

We will be there on Saturday-even Bud- and look forward to hugs all around, Debbie

Mom's obituary is now available.

Thank you all for your continued support. We're passing around printouts from this page. -lw

Dear Friends in Cushing,
I am going through my day knowing there is a kind and loving spirit among us now. I am sorry for the loss of Betty. More than I can say. Know that my family and I stand at the ready to help in any way. We can offer a stoppong point for travelers, food and warmth. We have easy access to Portland Jetport to assist any air travelers. I can provide you with anything you may need in the Portland area so please, sing out. I am at your service.
God Bless you all.
Nancy

Dear Willauer Family,
My prayers are with you all. Thanks for sharing your wife & mother during her generous and creative life. Thanks for sharing her death watch with us all through this site. It was a powerful experience, full of courage and learning; like Betty. Knowing the profound effect that she had on me in the short time that I knew her, it is inevitable that the blessings of her presence will reverberate forever.
With Gratitude,
Cynthia

You're a remakable family...and its been wonderful to know you. You all, Betty included, have a fine way of making all of us welcome in your lives. You may lose a part here and there, and gain somewhere else, but the soul lives on. Congradulations to Betty on a life well lived! My heart is with you.

Peter, Charlie, David, Lang & families..we're coming to Maine and are looking forward to being with you, your families and dear friends to celebrate her life among us. God bless you all for keeping us in such immediate touch. Love & hugs, Mary & Bob

There will be a celebration of the life of Elizabeth Isom Willauer on Saturday, January 16, 1999, at the Thomaston Baptist Church, 112 Main Street, Thomaston, Maine at 12 noon. A reception will follow at Watts Hall, also on Main Street, one block to the east. An obituary will follow here shortly.

Dear Peter and family,
My love and prayers are with you as you re-form your extended family's powerful energy around Betty's magnificent spirit. Much love, Robin

Our hearts are with you Peter and family. Such a loss, such a great Lady. Love, Bill and Nancy.

Dear Peter, Charlie and Gale,David and Cathy,Langley and Holly, Thank you for keeping us so close during this time. My heart aches for you all. I am so grateful to know that Betty is beyond her terrible suffering, but this morning, my heart weighs a thousand pounds.in the realization of who we have lost. Take some comfort in all that she has given us to carry on in her spirit. Peace and joy to you for the gift of this magnificent woman. Love Mary

Peter ---

The tears in my eyes and the lump in my stomach are not
because I feel badly for Betty. Finally, she is free from
all the pain and suffering, and is on a joyful journey to a
far better place. Instead, I cry for you, your family and
all the rest of us who will miss her enthusiasm,
spontaneity, dedication and love.

At the same time, through my tears I am grateful for
having had the opportunity to know her and to spend some
wonderful times with her and with you. However, the thing
for which we all can be most thankful is that, as I said in
one of my earlier entries in the Logbook, Betty may be
leaving us in body, but her incredible spirit lives
on in all of us. What a gift she has left us!

May God's blessings be with you and the family. Rest
assured that our thoughts, prayers and love are with you
all.

Peter (aka Freckie).

To Peter, Charlie, Dowser, Lang, your families, and the others who have loved Betty so well in these pages. Our prayers are with you for us all. From now on instead of praying for Betty, we can ask her to intercede for us, who will be missing her. It's good to have a friend in high places. Love, Jack & Bridget

Dear Willauers,
Now as your journey moves on, may we all take comfort in the peace that Betty has found, and you the strength in those around you. A quote I came across the other day, has been with me strongly as I have read through B-Mom.com.

"Courage is the prize that life exacts for granting peace."
-Ameliah Erhart

You are all in my prayers.

love to all yu guys up in maine, hope you all are holding up allright. i am sory that i could not
be there to be with you. i have prayed nightly for betty for two years, thought about her a lot.
I first met beba on a realy rainy night when i was five. we had been driving through scary maine woods for 4hrs plus.
we finaly stopped on this old farm up on a hill. and here is this realy nice lady letting us in, and giving us warm safe beds.
that is what betty has always seemed to represent to me: warmth and safety. as though just her loving, competent presence could protect
us all from the misfortunes of life. whether it was christmas at pint basin, or a screaming reach down merchants row on eight bells,
life with beba was always fun, always filled with a certain esotericismm. not once, not ever did she seem old to me. she was my friend, and most of all she was Beba.
lots of love, cory

Dear Willauers,
Our memories and prayers are with you tonight. You are an amazing family and so your Mom lives on, in each and every one of you. We thank you for making us part of your journey. God Bless Bob, Wendy, Whitney and Katie

Dearest POW, Langley, Dowser et al. We are so saddened by the passing of Betty, though grateful for the peaceful and family encircled end to her earthly life-and yet gladdened as well are we by the beauty and mystery of this life's end, and the brightness and light that we all new as Betty.

The blessing of this web page cannot be overstated at this time; to check in daily and read the uplifting, emotional, spiritual and inspirational; to see and hear the impact of Betty and Peter's lives worldwide, and to feel the warmth and loving emanating from the strong family that surrounded and nutured Betty in her last weeks and days. It has been an honor and a kindness to us all, and so like Betty in every way, to look out after all of us and keep us "up to date", while at home her own personal challenge went on as an inspiration to us all.

Blessings upon you all, Willauers; we are praying and sending you our warmth and love at this time of awakening and challenge, growth and letting go, looking back and moving forward with grace and love.

All our love, Gregory and Kathleen.

Dear Willauers, Betty is gone. I can't believe it, and am sad. Yet, what a privilege to have been her friend, for she taught me much, and she loved much. My thoughts & prayers are with you, Peter, Charlie, David, Lang, and this beloved community on the "net"..the emptiness is somehow lessened by reading all these letters & reports, and, of course, by Betty's bright spirit, which live on. praise God for that! She is truly one of the "saints":

Dear Willauers,
I send love to you all and will always remember this remarkable way to share such an intimate part of your lives. I will remember, too, the wonderful tributes to Betty and to you, Peter. Thank you to all the Willauers for sharing. I shall continue to carry you all in my thoughts and prayers....Nathalie

Dear Willauers all, Please know that the circle of love and prayers stretches around the globe from us too. Awoke at 0430 Monday(1330 EST Sunday) at our friends' place here in the southern hinterlands of Queensland and had the strongest sense of Betty. Got up and went for a walk along their ridge overlooking the most beautiful valley. Mist rising,exotic birds calling, cows mooing,grass shimmering with the dew as the sun rose. Came back to the house and checked in to B-Mom.com. We knew that Betty had passed as we sat there soaking it all in and thinking of all of you gathered together in your cozy house. Much love, Helen and Robert

Greetings. It has been years since I have seen you all, but there are so many memories I have never forgotten. I have always held the entire Willauer fondly in my heart.
I am sorry to learn of Betty's illness, but also know that she is fortunate to have such a caring group of friends and family to spend her last days with.
Our message in church today was about being prepared for death. Only when we are prepared for death can we then be prepared for life. May Betty leave us with the inspiration to be the best people we can be for the rest of our lives.
Love to all,
Martha

Shortly before 1430 this afternoon our glorious B-Mom found God's peace and passed to the next world. She died peacefully, surrounded by all of us around her bed. We are grateful for your prayers, please continue to hold us in your hearts. Details to follow, standby this frequency.

Dear Betty and Peter,
I missed the recent update because I was away, and have been reading today's messages with tears in my eyes and sobs in my throat. I'm humbled by the many beautiful expressions of love and wishes for peace, and wish I could rise to the high standard that has been set. But please know I send the warmest love and sympathy to you at this traumatic time.

Toby

The midday watch has changed, we've had a lunch of Spanish Rice brought by Holly, Gale is back from a big shop, and B-Mom continues to be with us. Her new bird feeder outside the den window got its first bird at 0730, a bright male cardinal. Seeing that it's OK, the goldfinches have now joined the fray, sitting and eating for a time like they do. The medications are keeping mum peaceful. Carol's harp continues. We've got a laptop set up in the kitchen, and are all periodically checking in with the site. I read mum the last two day's entries this morning. Love to all. -lw

There never was a place that Betty was, that she didn't make sunnier by being there. I envy Heaven its imminent brighter day.

To Betty and her Watchstanders
==================
Eternal Father, strong to save,
Whose arm does bind the restless wave,
Who bids the mighty ocean deep
Its own appointed limits keep;
O hear us when we cry to Thee
For those in peril on the sea.
------
O Savior, whose almighty word
The winds and waves submissive heard,
Who walked upon the foaming deep,
And calm amid the rage did sleep;
O hear us when we cry to Thee
For those in peril on the sea.
---------
O Holy Spirit, who did brood
Upon the waters dark and rude,
And bid their angry tumult cease,
And give for wild confusion peace;
O hear us when we cry to Thee
For those in peril on the sea.
------
O Trinity of love and pow'r,
Your children shiled in danger's hour;
From rock and tempest, firs, and foe,
Protect them wheresoe'er they go;
Thus, evermore shall rise to Thee
Glad hymns of praise from land and sea.
---
Amen

If, not so long ago, anyone had told me that turning on my computer and looking
at a web page would be a deeply religious experience, I would never have
believed it. Today, after coming home from church and checking in with B-Mom,
it feels like the holiest of Sunday mornings. Christianity is about love,
and the love at B-Mom is palpable. Go in peace, Betty. It sounds as if that
were happening for you now. May God bless you on this journey, and comfort
your family. We are sending our love to you all.
Mary and Jeff

The Maine Post gathered at Paul and Mary Perkins house near Round Pond. 25 brave souls enjoyed tall sea stories, rum punch (Yep, I made a pretty good batch Brad..) fine food, and photos of the Cruise in Turkey. All Willauers were in our thoughts and prayers.

Peace....

David Pratt

Snuggled in the kitchen on Ram Island. Read B-Mom daily. Think of you all. Our family prayer for Betty. We were blessed to have my Dad at home when he fought the big fight. Cherrish the time in my heart as the greatest gift ever. My prayers are with Betty, for her peace. And also with you all - hope you find and cherrish the same peace in your hearts and with each other. The greatest gifts, found within the greatest pain. Love to you all. Hannah

Overcast and 18 degrees this morning. David, Charlie, Kirsty, Carol and I took the watches last night. The night was uneventful, but mum is noticably less responsive this morning. She is leaving her body slowly, appearing to be asleep all the time, but probably hearing everything that's going on. We continue to be together, and with her, riding the rollercoaster that I suspect those reading this are too. We have our down moments, but not alone. Caroline and Bill Zuber just arrived for a day shift, and Carol continues to line up the help. Big pancake feed for breakfast, fun. Carol was playing her Celtic harp this morning as it got light, matching mum's breathing and filling the room with beautiful sound. More soon. -lw

Sending love and prayerful thoughts to all of you gathered with our dearly-loved Betty. Jim and Barbara
"Grant, then, O my God, that Thy servant may consort with Thy chosen ones, Thy saints and Thy Messengers in heavenly places that the pen cannot tell nor the tongue recount...."
Baha'u'llah

Dear Betty and Peter,

Paul and I have just returned from the CCA dinner at Paul Perkins. We all have you in our hearts and David asked for a special moment to remember you and keep you in our prayers. This journey has been so very moving. I check in nearly every day, laughter and smiles back in November and now thru tears. What wonderous things you have taught us and brought forth from our hearts and souls. I read the writings of people I know and do not know and wish I could finds words as beautiful to say how much we love you and thank you for being among us. I know the Lord hears our prayers for you. Paul remembers joyful singing years ago aboard Canty and Valgerda. May you soon pick up your instrument and join the Heavenly throng in joyful singing. May the Peace of the Lord be always with you.

Love, Marty and Paul

this has been a very special experience for all of us. I remember Betty telling me this fall, "ann, I never thought it would come to this. I thought that when i was going to die, i would make twelve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on wonder bread and eat them all...nirvana! She has taught us all alot about life, but especially about the peace of death. She was scared that she would not have enough time to accomplish what she wanted to do..distibute jewelry,identify family heirlooms, write notes to her grandchildren, get her affairs in order. She was lucky and leaves us in peace with all her affairs in order, something most of us would lust for. It is such a lesson in life to have the priviledge to observe a person leaving this life with such peace,and comfort, but most importantly alot of love. Peace be with you and thank you for all your tremendous and loving support. ann + brad

To all of you in Cushing tonight,
We are with you.
Much love,
Nancy

When I last visited Betty she was reading a book called "Tuesday's with Morrie". (it's about a man who is dying of Lou Gericks (SP?) Disease and his former student spending Tuesday's together talking about life's lessons.) She was really excited about it and wanted me to read it, as she thought it would help me understand her vision of dying and her views on life. I forgot about it as I was caught up in the emotions of the moment and only when a friend gave it to me for Christmas and I started reading the book did I realize that this book is what Betty had wanted me and others to read. I found immense comfort reading this story, hearing in my head my conversation with Betty and finally understanding what she had wanted me to understand. Now as we are all praying for Betty and her finding peace, I wanted to share with all of you who check in with b-mom.com two excerpts from the book. I know that Betty found comfort in these words and I hear her voice when I read them. Maybe they will help you find some comfort too. I love you all up there in Cushing, I love you Betty, I know you won't hear these words in person but I know you will in spirit. I will be thinking of you tonight, and will visit you in my dreams. Love and Peace, Peg



"We think because we're human we're something above nature." He smiled at the plant. "We're not, everything that gets born, dies" He looked at me. "Do you accept that?"
Yes.
"All right," he whispered, "Now here's the payoff. Here is how we ARE different from these wonderful plants and animals. As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."
...."Death ends a life, not a relationship."
-Morrie speaking to his Student Mitch



"The story is about a little wave bobbing along in the ocean having a grand old time - He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air - until he notices the other waves in front of them crashing against the shore.
"My god this is terrible the wave says. Look at what's going to happen to me!"
Then along comes another wave, it sees the first wave looking glum, and it says to him, "why do you look so sad?"
The first wave says, "You don't understand, we're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?"
The second waves says, "No you don't understand. You're not a wave you're part of the ocean."
-Morrie telling a story he heard to his student Mitch

Dear Betty,
I hope you feel better soon. I love you. Love, Hayley Bright

Dear Willauers,

What a privelage it has been over this past year to deepen my friendship with Betty in the sacredness of our once a week Reiki sessions. I have missed them these last two weeks and was so glad to be called yesterday. With the fire blazing and Betty telling me to pull the bed out so that I could reach her head and, oh yes, don't forget to turn the ringer off the phone, our (perhaps last) Reiki session began. But it had quite a different feel to it. I had to work hard to keep letting go of my own feelings and fears (afraid my touch might somehow disturb instead of comfort --- maybe not trusting the Divine Energy enough) until I got to your feet. There, in the darkening room, I held your feet, Betty, and felt such peace and love, so connected to you and your spirit. Like a child with something very precious, I didn't want to let go. So we were there like that for a time until a prayer of thanksgiving formed itelf in my heart. I am thankful, deeply grateful, for knowing you, Betty and Peter.
Blessings and love, Laura

Dear Willauers,
There is something about coming to this site each day that reminds me of when Charlie taught me about "dead reckoning" while sailing in the fog of Maine. We all know that something is out there that we are about to approach and we are moving forward on faith.
Christ's Peace be with you all,
Cynthia

Dear Betty ,Peter, and Family
We are think of you often but this day you on our minds like the wind on the bay in late summer steady, strong, and warm. We wish you all of this attributes of the wind as you spend your final moments. There are few people I know who have effected so many, I thank you all for that gift. Boys, thanks for sharing your parents I am sure there were times you wondered how many kids your Mom had to keep track of.Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time, God Bless Love you Bob &Wendy

"Lord, you now have set your servant free
To go in peace as you have promised;
For these eyes of mine have seen the Savior,
Whom you have prepared for all the world to see:
A light to enlighten the nations,
and the glory of your people Israel."
We send God's peace and our love to all of you
as you wait & watch. Hugs to all, and especially
dear Betty - Love, Mary & Bob

Dear Willauers, I am with you in spirit & prayer as you assemble with Betty to support her, and pray her into Paradise. How grateful I am for this community on B-Mom all sharing our remembrances, our sadness, and our sense of waiting..Thank you, Lang, for setting it all up. Thank you,Peter, for the updates. It makes it possible for me to be with you in thought and prayer.

Dear Betty, Peter and Family:

We're thinking and wishing you godspeed every day.

After giving us the HIOBS community and inspiring us to reach and give beyond expectation, it is extraordinary though not surprising that you are giving us perhaps the most precious gift of all. Thank you, Langley, for finding a way and thank you, Betty and clan, for your courage and generosity in sharing your life and passing with us. I guess it is only fitting that having given many of us a place where we learned how to live, you are now teaching all of us how to die. I do not know the words to tell you how deeply you have touched me and only hope that in the course of my life and death, I find the courage and grace to express what you have given me.

I wish you all peace. Our hearts are with you.

Love, Donny

What a wonderful web site! Even in all that is going on you have offered to those around you the opportunity to gather, reflect, offer support and find support. Thank you.
I accessed this site yesterday for the first time and was moved beyond words. A song came to me that was very special to me when a dear friend (brother to me in my family of choice) was dying. It is by a woman named Deidre McCalla.

SING ME TO SLEEP
The books and the photographs
Seem to glow in the sun's golden haze
The shadows are long and still
As the evening light fades
Remember the days music filled every room
And we swore we'd trade
Our dying breath for a tune

Would you sing me to sleep
And hold me 'til tomorrow
Your presence will ease
My journey through this night
There's no longer need
For all the tears of sorrow
I am finally free
Would you just sing me to sleep

We never expected this
And the timing has torn us apart
For you more than anyone
Dearest friend of my heart
I know that this leaving
Is not what you'd choose
But there is a limit
To what love can do...

Would you sing me to sleep
And hold me 'til tomorrow
Your presence will ease
My journey through this night
There's no longer need
For all the tears of sorrow
I am finally free
Would you just sing me to sleep
We long to hold our loved ones here
But deep inside we know
That often for the spirit to heal
The body must let go

It's almost a luxury
To know how this chapter will end
So many pass away
With a fence still to mend
There's nothing unspoken
No thread left untied
I ask one last favor
Instead of good-byes

Would you sing me to sleep
And hold me 'til tomorrow
Your presence will ease
My journey through this night
There's no longer need
For all the tears of sorrow
I am finally free
Would you just sing me to sleep
~Deidre McCalla~

My love, thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Betty, for all that you have given and for your presence on this earth, Thank You. Our spirits will walk with yours as far as they can go as you travel on this next journey. Peace.
~AM~ ("from logistics")

Dear Betty and family - All our love and prayers-we are with you. Chris

Dear Peter, David, Langley, Charlie, and everybody,
I'm so sorry to learn from this website how bad Betty's condition is. (It's great that you set this up, Langley, and I'm very glad I succeeded in getting into it--this is only the second or third time I've visited a website, and the first time I've managed to do it without my son's help!) I'm touched by the warm and wonderful messages I've read here; it comforts me to know your friends are there in spirit and in person with such strong and loving support. I just want you all to know that my thoughts, sympathy, and support are with you as you go through this sad time. Thanks for taking such good care of Betty. I'm very fond of her and all of you. Please give Betty a hug for me; I'll miss her. I'm very sad not to have seen her in so long. I'd love to see you sometime. Love, Becky

Another update, this time from the kitchen in Cushing. We just had a prayer session in the Den with Peter and Betty, Brad and Ann, Chip, Charlie and Gale, David and Cathy and Holly and me. Dowzer lead us in "Hold Back the Days", then The Reverend Peter Edwards-Jenks lead us in an Episcopal service "Ministration at the Time of Death." Then, somehow, Dowzer lead us all in "Simple Gifts." It was obviously a very emotional moment, but also powerful. Everyone greeted mum individually, and then, when asked whether she was ready for a break, she said "yes." She can definitely hear us, and can verbalize a little, but is very weak. She is not in pain. We are all grateful to be together, and grateful for the continued support from the wider community. More soon. -lw

Oh, my dear ones! Weeks ago, I looked up a poem by Robert Browning but didn't have the courage to send it. Perhaps today is the day. There is so much more to say, but I can't say it. Oh, that I could sit beside Betty one more time! Enough. All my tears are bottled up, my love between the lines.

Prospice

Fear death? -- to feel the fog in my throat,
The mist in my face,
When the snows begin, and the blasts denote
I am nearing the place,
The power of the night, the press of the storm,
The post of the foe;
Where he stands, the Arch Fear in a visible form,
Yet the strong man must go;
For the journey is done and the summit attained,
And the barriers fall,
Though a battle's to fight ere the guerdon be gained,
The reward of it all.
I was ever a fighter, so - one fight more,
The best and the last!
I would hate that death bandaged my eyes, and forbore,
And bade me creep past.
No! Let me taste the whole of it, fare like my peers
The heroes of old,
Bear the brunt, in a minute pay glad life's arrears
Of pain, darkness, and cold.
For sudden the worst turns the best to the brave
The black minute's at end,
And the elements rage, the fiend-voices that rave,
Shall dwindle, shall blend,
Shall change, shall become first a peace out of pain,
Then a light, then thy breast,
O thou soul of my soul! I shall clasp thee again,
And with God be the rest!
- Robert Browning

Remember, each one of you, all of you,are beloved. We are holding your hands. Oh, this is hard: Sweet peace! I love you - Bridget

Dear Betty and Peter, The letters written to you are wrenching and lovely. I have been reading them, but seem unable to write, today I will. I am always so proud to know both of you, all of you, alas never well enough. Betty, you are such a magnificent inspiration and have been since 1980 or thereabouts, when I first met you on Hurricane. I worked for DOBC. It was in the "POW" cabin, Peter and Charlie were there and we drank Gallo and rum and I remember thinking how elegant you were, so completely different from my other OB buddies - even Peter! Five or six years ago you, Peter, Mary,(Moran)and Jeff and Suzanne Newsom and I sailed to Hurricane with you for the 30th anniversary.How we laughed on the way over, how thrilled everyone was to see you both, Josh Miner was there- all the Great Ones! Now I think of you all daily with love and much respect-Tsella Huntle dear Betty (Go well, in the language of the people of Lesotho) Love, Saranne.

Dear Willauers all,
As Betty's light grows dimmer I find myself more an more thankful for my frienship with her and your family. Charlie and I are with you every minute in the den in Cushing and so grateful for your words on this page. We are praying constantly for Betty to have a merciful and peaceful journey. A lovely poem was sent to us years ago when Lisa died and I want to share it with you as it seems just right for Betty.
She has taken her lighted candle
and is gone into another room I cannot find.
But anyone can tell where she has been
because of all the little lights she has left behind.
Those lights will never dim. God bless and love to each of you. Clare

Dear Peter,
As your old next door neighbor at Prouts, I just have to write and tell you how sorry I am about Betty. I don't believe I have met her, but from all the notes, I would say she is a wonderful woman. My sister, Corky Conyngham, is at about the same stage with her bone cancer and it is very easy for me to relate to all the pain and suffering. Please know that our family's prayers are with you all. Elsie

Dear Betty, and Peter too although I haven't met you except through these pages....

You many not even remember me, it's been that long! Not since Beaver days.....and now I'm doubly dratting the inability to attend any of the reunions. WHAT I've missed! I too go back, as Margie said, to the days of the Exeter people and dances, and those two years I had at Beaver with you and Nat and Pauline and Jean and Becky and (names fail me) were two exciting and satisfying and affirming years. Remember our jazz group? I remember Pauline on that huge bass.....our singing Blue Skies....maaan, that was delicious!


I didn't remember your involvement with OUtward Bound--have had many friends who attended and always spoke glowingly, but it sure sounds as though that was YOUR home-away-from-home. What JOY!!

Thank you for this wonderful gift of loving and sharing. Natty gave me the site and I've been sitting here, transfixed, lost in joyful memories and ooo's and ahhh's for the past hour.
Hereinafter, the Messiah is YOURS!!! Well I remember the fun we had at Beaver in that blessed Chorus, and the JOY of performing at Symphony Hall. One year, there was a bass right behind us who hit an incredibly magically LOW note, the kind that makes your toes squinch, and I think we BOTH turned around to STARE at the young man who'd done it: wow!

This wonderful site: bless those who pulled it together. Yes, the lessons from Morrie DO continue, always. My dear old friend, apart for too long, I wish you joy on this journey. I have no idea what you'll find, but I'm willing to bet a nickle (el?) it's got something to do with ocean and music and of course, family. Gods bless, dear Betty.

Love, and thanks-

Helena (formerly Nina, a name I always loathed, but there it was: I was stuck with it. Heh heh, at least I was stuck until I got old enough to legally change it!!)

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